When you are single, don’t think of it as a temporary state that must be endured until the love of your life comes along. Instead, you would do well to cherish this time in your life, whether it happened by chance or choice. Being single gives you the time for self-reflection and can really be a time of personal growth in your life. That way, if you do decide to join the dating game later on, you will do so with the benefit of having taken the time to nurture yourself first.
If the reason you are single is due to a previous relationship ending, it is critical to take the time you need to heal the emotional pain this caused you before you even consider dating again. This could take up to a year, depending on the amount of time you were in your marriage or other committed relationship. Use this time to evaluate what went wrong, if the reason for the end of your relationship was a break-up and not the death of your partner. Rather than becoming bitter, make a conscious decision to learn from your past relationship, whether or not you feel you had any fault in its demise.
If your partner died, you need to work through all the stages of grief, as painful as that might be. If you skip any of the steps, you may find yourself comparing anyone else you meet to your deceased partner and that is not fair to them. You need to come to terms with the loss you have suffered and realise that person is not replaceable, but there may be someone else who you can be happy with again in the future.
You will be the most happy being single if you decide to stay positive and make the most of this time in your life. You may well decide you like it so much that you want to remain unattached, and that is a valid choice. Don’t let anyone else pressure you into what they think your life should look like. If well-meaning friends begin to drop hints or arrange blind dates without consulting you, tell them thanks, but you will let them know when and if you are ready to begin dating.
When you see being single as something negative, you will give off that vibe to others and they will see you as an unhappy person. It can become a vicious cycle, and it can also put you in the position of making poor choices. You may become desperate enough to put yourself in unsafe situations by accepting dates with whoever is available. This can be avoided by being comfortable with yourself and not compromising on what you are looking for in a dating partner.
We have all heard the advice about putting yourself out there where single people might be, but you shouldn’t take that to mean joining a tennis league if you hate sports or taking an art class when you’re about as artistic as a preschooler. You may indeed meet someone, only to be disappointed shortly after when you realise you really don’t have anything in common. It is best to stick with the interests you already have or to pursue those that actually do interest you.
Finally, just be yourself and keep an open mind. Don’t put your life on hold just because you are single. Live, learn and love every day and be of the mindset that you will be okay no matter if you remain single forever or if you eventually meeting someone. Because you will be.